C.H.U.D.

Now for a much awaited post - what exactly is C.H.U.D.?

I'll leave aside the obvious Wikipedia description of the 1984 American horror flick and its resulting internet meme, though I'll leave you the link to it at the bottom (In true Wikipedia 'External Links' style). (1) Suffice to say the film's name stood for Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dweller, and it came to mean any ugly annoying person.

The alternate meaning (ironically) refers to the primarily Estonian Finno-Ugric peoples, originating perhaps from Slavic chuzoi (foreign) or tshudnyi (attractive), described as exalted and beautiful; the pronunciation is different though. (2)

But then I noticed some interesting similarities:

An attribute of the Chuds or Tšuudi is 'white eyed' referring to their fair-coloured eyes. Here is a C.H.U.D. from a movie poster - white-eyed and beautiful (in it's mother's eyes, at least).

C.H.U.D. (1984) British VHS movie cover.

Copyright by respective movie studios.

Not enough? Well, the Chuds are supposed to have 'departed under the Earth', 'unwilling to remain subject to the White Tzar' (3), probably referring to the Christian Russian settlers encountered by these people; they literally went underground, and closed the passage with stones. I don't need to remind you that the "U.D." in C.H.U.D. stands for 'Underground Dweller' - getting interested? No? Okay, how's this:

From Forest Myths by Pavel F. Limerov (2005)

"The pagan Chudes, who had been the ally of the Eastern Slavs in the North from time immemorial and took very actively part in the ethnogenesis of Russians, was suddenly attributed demonic features. A medieval Russian author comments on the contact of these two cultures as follows: 'The most ancient inhabitants of this region – the barbaric and foul raw meat eaters and white-eyed Chudes, who, having come to the shores of White Lake (Beloye Ozero) plundered the region: burned down the settlements, devoured adolescents and babies, killed the adult and the old in many ways' (Krinichnaia 1987: 83)" (4)

Well, that seems like a perfect Cannibalistic Humanoid, the "C.H." factor. Sadly, their fabled beauty was written off in a fell swoop of the pen, and no libel laws in place at the time, even! There are even worse descriptions, but let's show these guys some compassion huh?

I have two explanations for all these links between the two Chuds

1. Story writer Steph Abbott already knew about this folklore when he came up with the name at a party with C.H.U.D. actors John Heard and Daniel Stern - a perfect historic reference for white, Christian Americans battling demonic (and thus non-Christian) creatures who live underground just like the unfortunate pagan Chuds.
2. I have stumbled upon something new which could be a contribution to the field of Ethnology? Sociolinguistics? Rhinoplasty? You tell me.

Meanwhile, I'll try and submit this little abstract to the Finno-Ugric Media Centre and see if they can correct/accept/ add to it.

(1) C.H.U.D. - Internet article, accessed 21 June, 2010. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/C.H.U.D.

(2) Chud - Internet article, accessed 21 June, 2010. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chud

(3) Roerich, Nicholas (1990) Shambhala: In Search of the New Era (214) http://books.google.co.in/books?id=4hZPAGYEFtwC&pg=PA214&lpg=PA214&dq=chud+roerich&source=bl&ots=zzIa0mz36l&sig=QnPvGg1RmSw1HH74denOfbEXSsA&hl=en&ei=RS4fTLOTCNG6rAeN5KW8Cw&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=1&ved=0CBgQ6AEwAA#v=onepage&q&f=false

(4) Limerov, Pavel F. (2005) Forest Myths: A Brief Overview of Ideologies before St. Stefan. http://www.folklore.ee/folklore/vol30/limerov.pdf

By the way, don't say rhinoplasty - that's corrective nose surgery.

Activity Time

Today's activity, kids, is to dis-finger your hand like so:

Step 01: Face your palm toward you and take His name. Without faith in Him, nothing can be accomplished. I'm talking of course about your orthopaedist.

Step 02: Grab the end of your little finger (the 'pinky') and pull it as far down as possible and lay it on your palm until it holds by friction. If you are sweating, perhaps dry yourself off or use some talc.

Step 03: Execute similar actions on other fingers, wrapping your index finger around the thumb ultimately. For aesthetic purposes, fan them out a little like I have. You are now equipped like a traditional bhikshuka for begging. All the best!

Note: If you experience pain, go and lie down for some time. You are suffering from Drama Queenness.

Bhikshuka Mudra (The C.H.U.D. Hand)

If you manage this complex yogic feat, take a photo like I have, against an artsy background (or a concrete floor) and get 53 points, no interest rates, nothing!

Uncanny!

As I walked home from the bus stop, I wondered, what are the similarities between Dr. B.R. Ambedkar, Architect of the Indian Constitution, and the woman's brassiere? No doubt you too, dear reader, have pondered over this question until the wee hours of whatever time you are generally asleep.

Firstly, Ambedkar was a great supporter of the downtrodden; a brassiere provides similar support to sagging breasts. In fact, the term 'uplifting' has been applied to both through history.

Both the modern brassiere as well as Ambedkar came into large scale action from the 1930s.

Both were revolutionary and helped in securing freedom for the oppressed.

Ambedkar had origins in the untouchable caste, while the brassiere is an original cast for the 'untouchables'. (yeah, now I'm really milking this, pun intended)

Oh yeah, and of course there's this: (scroll down for the surprise, this post isn't over yet, idiot)

In fact, that there looks like a bra in the picture. (No more clues)

Remember Ambedkar turned Buddhist, all you righteous outraged admirers thinking violent thoughts.

Stop! Motion!

Sorry to all for the delay in posting - 4 followers is as motivating as a Dirty Sanchez (more on that many blogs later)

The weekend presented sparse possibilities so me and Osiris (Osiris and me?) decided to make an amateur stop motion animation film. For all the noobs - all you need is a digital camera, some characters, some decent lighting (which we lacked) and an interesting idea. This is first cut, before any editing, so hold onto your panties for the sound and lights version, but until then, you can beat off to the Sunday premiere of Rats! Rats! Rats!

Just search "how to make a stop motion film" on Google and click on the wikihow result to create your own disasterpiece. It took just a few hours and it came out totally chand (as opposed to C.H.U.D. - more on that next blog)