Neverendiwali

Just when I thought Diwali was behind me, I was given another art commission - designing and printing some ten-days-late Diwali cards - but this blog was not about only posting my 'artworks' [sic][k], so let's rush through the rigmarole of golden-spiral and diya-turning-into-parrot's-beak-into-feathers-into-stars-into-fireworks and the pretentious capitalisation of Concept and the customary image...

My first digital painting

... and get to some real stuff: the odd sentence "But I want to know beforehand if thought can live in those deserts" from Camus' The Myth of Sisyphus set me on my own tangent about the meaning of life. Realising I was an atheist was the first step to questioning what belief systems truly matter as a basis for living; more and more things seem meaningless and hollow upon inspection, and life feels like an unending desert. People around me find meaning in their work, their families, their passions, but each of these are the mirages they are creating for themselves to avoid the scary reality of walking in shifting dunes forever. Slowly, they become one of the trees in this fake oasis they have created and take root in the desert, surrounded by the illusion of meaning, and oblivious of the irony. The longer they stay, the deeper their roots go, until it is fatal to try to uproot them from this mirage - so it is with people and their beliefs about what truly matters.
The question is, what is the alternative? While I search the desert for answers that do not exist, I maintain some contact with other human beings through work and play, not to take root with them, but to surround myself with real trees. They offer no answers, but their shade is comforting.
How do I end a philosophical musing which I am still in the midst of living out?