"History is written by the Victors"

Scene 1. Ayodhya. Royal palace. Around 500BCE.

Bharat: Arrey bhaiyya Ram! Aap dakshin me kya dekhe?

Ram: Dakshin me humne ajeeb log dekhe, bahut hairy the, poore badan pe baal hi baal! Aisa laga sab bandar hain vaha pe!

Bharat: Matlab sab bandar hai south India me?

Ram: Er... Haan! Sab bandar hai!

Bharat: Tab to unke poonchh bhi hue honge? Bandar ki tarah?

Ram: Haan, haan, kyon nahi, kyon nahi! Poonchh bhi the, ajeeb bandariya bhasha bhi thi, Hindi-vindi to pata hi nahi tha unhe, jab ki kuchh shatabdi me voh hamari rashtrabhasha banegi!

Bharat: Lekin Valmikiji keh rahe the ki Hindi keval ek official language banegi, baki 17 bhashaon ke saath! Ispe to Gujarat High Court ki ruling* bhi hogi, kuch dhai hazaar saalon me!

Ram: Oho! Bada ismart ban rahe hain aap to! Itna ismart the, to yeh kyun nahi pata tha ki saare south Indians bandar hai? Hah? Hmm?

Bharat: Ram jaane...

Ram: Exactly! Ab yuddh jeeta kaun? Hum, na? To hamari baat maaniye, iske baad dakshin ke bhaluon ke baare me bhi batana hai..."

Exeunt.

"I'll tell you all about it when I'm back"

*The Gujarat High Court, on 25 January 2010, observed "Normally, in India, majority of the people have accepted Hindi as a national language and many people speak Hindi and write in Devanagari script but there is nothing on record to suggest that any provision has been made or order issued declaring Hindi as a national language of the country."